Super Bowl XLIV

Super Bowl XLIV is less than 2 hours away. Indianapolis and New Orleans will square off in the biggest American television event of the year, and just like everyone in this country, I must weigh in with my predictions for the game.

The hype leading up to this Super Bowl has been almost nonexistent. Many of the Super Bowls in recent years have had many compelling stories that could intrigue interest outside fans of the two participants. Let’s look back.

The Hype of Past Super Bowls

Super Bowl 43: Cardinals vs Steelers

• Cardinals’ improbable (and first) run to the Super Bowl
• League’s best offense vs league’s best defense
• The amazing story of Kurt Warner getting back to the Super Bowl
• The Steelers back to the Super Bowl for the second time in 4 years

Super Bowl 42: Patriots vs Giants

• Patriots 18-0, knocking on the door of the undefeated season
• Giants make it to the Super Bowl as a 6th seed
• Added drama from their crazy game in week 17

Super Bowl 41: Colts vs Bears

• Peyton Manning finally makes a Super Bowl appearance
• Two black coaches in the Super Bowl
• Amazing offense (Colts) vs amazing defense (Bears)

Super Bowl 40: Steelers vs Seahawks

• Ben Roethisberger takes the Steelers to the Super Bowl in his second year
• Bettis returning home

Alright, no one (outside of Steelers fans) had excitement for this one.

Super Bowl 39: Patriots vs Eagles

• The possibility of the Patriots repeating
• McNabb and Reid finally making a Super Bowl

I could go on. Super Bowl XLIV’s most intriguing and hyped-up storyline is Dwight Freeney’s ankle. And New Orleans loves their team. That’s it. If Tony Dungy had not spiced things up by predicting a Colts blowout, there would not be anything else to talk about.

The playoffs had some great games (Packers/Cardinals, Vikings/Saints), and there is very little chance this Super Bowl will match them in terms of pre-game, in-game, or post-game drama. It is reminiscent of the Final Four a few years ago—complete chalk. We have the two top seeds who both nearly went undefeated (more on that after the Super Bowl). The two teams we knew were the best the whole season. The fact that it was expected makes it all the more mundane.

There is also the issue of the current state of the NFL. The fact that the two best passing offenses (perhaps not stat-wise, but we know they are the best) made it to this point signals a turn in the league. Whereas in previous years a dominant defense was important, now it is nearly pointless. With the league legislating defense out of the game (more on that in my predictions), teams have a better shot just chucking the ball as much as they can and hoping for calls. All the defense needs to do nowadays is avoid being on the field last.

And yet, as so eloquently put by every sports writer in history, “that’s why you play the game”. The one thing that can redeem the dreadful and horribly placed Pro Bowl, the lack of any outside interest beyond Colts and Saints fans, and the steady 0 on the excitement meter is a great game. A tight, thrilling battle of the best can erase any boring coverage from the last two weeks. An acrobatic, unbelievable play can turn tonight from mundane event into one I will always remember. A memorable finish can even turn a fan who rants about defensive rule changes into one who eagerly discusses the Super Bowl for weeks after its conclusion.

I hope we get that lucky.

Super Bowl XLIV Predictions

The Penalties (alternate title: Cady Bitterness)

The aforementioned changes that have sent the NFL down its chosen pansy path should be in full force tonight. I predict:

• At least 6 pass interference calls (Actual: 1)
• At least 4 roughing the passer calls (Actual: 0)
• At least 4 unnecessary roughness calls (Actual: 2)
• At least 2 calls so obviously wrong that remotes will be broken in rage somewhere in the country. (Actual: 0 or 1 depending on your view of the 2 point conversion)

Other Assorted Predictions

In-game Celebrity Shots

• Kim Kardashian – 9 (Actual: 0)
• Archie Manning – 7 (Actual: 2)
• Bill Polian – 5 (Actual: 0)
• Ricky Martin – 2 (Actual: 0)

Number of Times Announcer Mentions Brett Favre

5 (Actual: 0)

The Game Itself

I will be brief. Both New Orleans and Indianapolis have fantastic offenses. The Colts have an embarrassing secondary and Peyton Manning is Peyton Manning, so both teams will score a lot. I expect the Saints to jump out early, and the Colts will steadily get back into the game, taking this one down the wire. As for my game-changer, I think Dallas Clark and Reggie Bush could both be deciding factors for their teams. Who comes out on top?

Saints 37-34

(Actual: Saints 31-17)

The only thing left to do is to decide whether or not to wear my Willie Parker jersey to the Super Bowl party tonight. My fanhood is independent of playoff presence. Go Steelers.

UPDATE: I put in the actual tallies so you can see how my predictions stood up. I was wrong about absolutely everything except the one that mattered. And for those wondering, I did wear my Steelers jersey.