End of 2007: Five Film Disappointments

With the new year approaching very quickly, I have been going over possible ideas to recap some of my thoughts about the year. Over the next few days I will be going over my favorite films of 2007 (naturally), but hopefully some other stuff as well. To start things off, here are my five disappointing films of 2007. You will find what I thought they were going to get before I saw them (basically anticipating excellence), and their actual score (the disappointment).

5. No Country for Old Men

No Country for Old Men is definitely the best reviewed film of 2007…so why is it on this list? Well, unlike the critics I did not think that the artistic elements of the movie combined to make a quality picture. The landscapes are beautifully barren, but sadly so is the plot. There are great characters, but I felt they were too emotionally distant the entire movie. Again, the movie is technically flawless from a cinematic standpoint, and from that of an adaptation of a novel. That does not mean it is a good film.

(review) Predicted Score: 9/10 Actual Score: 5/10

4. Zodiac

Zodiac is the true story of a serial killer that plagued California in the 1970s. Every time someone tells me that it is a true story, I respond by telling them, “That does not make it a good film story.” This is mainly due to my being a jerk, but also mainly because of the light the movie is a snorefest that meanders without ever finding a conclusion. Zodiac was boring, but at least the special edition DVD has great cover art.

(review) Predicted Score: 8/10 Actual Score: 5/10

3. American Gangster

Between Zodiac and American Gangster I spent a lot of time at the theater completely bored. Denzel Washington was great, but instead of getting a great crime epic like Heat, I got a poor man’s Scarface. You can read about that in more detail in the review, but I believe I said something about American Gangster being “American” because of its greed and violence. That’s true, but it is also because it elicits the same reaction from me as “American” Idol: I want to turn it off.

(review) Predicted Score: 8/10 Actual Score: 4/10

2. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

As I write this review I am sensing a trend: all of the movies on this list are really boring. I do not mean that in the sense of lacking explosions and assorted pretty lights, but the fact that they cannot hold my attention with anything they have to offer. A perfect example of this is Pirates 3. The movie is nearly three hours of either Johnny Depp on coke or completely worthless CGI (Calypso anyone?). The only thing impressive about Pirates is how it squandered one of the highest budgets in movie history, AND all of its star power to create this mess. Just like The Matrix, this series should have stopped after round one.

(review) Predicted Score: 8/10 Actual Score: 5/10

1. Spider-Man 3

Ah, Spider-Man 3. Never have I been so angry after the credits rolled than in this failure. If you read the review that was written at four in the morning, you can get a small taste of my complete disregard of mercy for this pile of trash. Spider-Man, Peter Parker, has an emover in the film…end of discussion. I honestly hope I never have to sit through this movie again, and if I am trapped in a room with it hopefully this time I have a bottle of chloroform nearby. Congratulations Spider-Man 3, you are the most disappointing film of 2007.

(review) Predicted Score: 8/10 Actual Score: 2/10

The funny thing about this list is that all of these films were received very well by critics. You can take comfort, loyal readers, in the fact that I clearly do not review based on popular opinion. Did any of these films disappoint you as well?

Images courtesy Rotten Tomatoes