The NFL: What Happened?

The state of the NFL is so absurd right now I am having trouble believing these are the same teams from last year. In one offseason the league has been turned completely upside down, and I am talking Lindsay Lohan having a successful movie upside down. Cue this reality check:

AFC North

• Browns:The Browns…are winning. Derek Anderson has been nothing short of a monster so far this season, and Braylon Edwards is playing like an elite wide out. Can they sustain this level of play? No, they cannot. However, the Bengals and Ravens are looking horrendous. Can the Browns finish second in the division (No chance of them catching Steeltown)? I can’t believe I am actually going to say…it is possible.
• Bengals: Uno - Tres.
• Steelers:Continuing the trend of thing not making sense, the Arizona Cardinals handed Tomlin and company their first loss of the season. Upon further inspection it really is not that surprising. Remember when the Mangenius beat Belichick their first time around? Whisenhunt and Grimm knew exactly what they were getting into when they played the Steelers. Big Ben needs to improve his passing under pressure, which is his greatest weakness right now. Still I expect the Steelers to enter their bye week 4-1.
• Ravens: The defense is not what is used to be. When was the last time they got lit up by Cleveland?

AFC South

• Colts: The only surprise here is a possible injury to Mr.Reliable Marvin Harrison and an upgraded quality in defense after a downgrade in personnel.
• Texans: Schaub lost to his alma Falcons, but looks solid so far. With his top two receivers out, what more can he do? Any time the Texans have a legitimate chance to win each week, you know the league is in disarray. How good would they be with…
• Titans: …Vince Young. This guy is making the suits in Texas look more and more foolish with each game. If I were him I would do a postgame intervew in a Mario Williams jersey. The Titans can and will be a playoff team, because of this guy alone.
• Jaguars: I suppose the surprise would be that Jones-Drew has done jack squat through four games. Jack Del Rio is alienating a new player each week, and his team is plummeting with no end in sight. No way they make it to the post-season.

AFC East

• Patriots: To ease you into things, the Patriots are still good. There is some stability left in my fragile mind. Spygate or not, the team is 4-0, and between Belichick’s binoculars and Brady’s new toys receivers they have not been challenged yet. I have a feeling they are going to get upset by a horrible team, but it is just a hunch.
• Dolphins: What was supposed to be a stout defense has been nothing of the sort. As things are now, The Zach Thomas-less Fins couldn’t stop Maurice Clarett from breaking off a hundred yards (that’s without firepower). There is a sign of hope though. Cam Cameron has Ronnie Brown running with authority. That should be no surprise, because this guy groomed a certain Tomlinson into the best back of the league.
• Bills: Trent Edwards looked like he may be a serviceable backup (read: replacement) for J.P. Losman. Lynch is running well, but their defense is in shambles after losing its entire secondary to free agency last season.
• Jets: The Jets are off to a slow start, but on the bright side of things Thomas Jones looks like a solid acquisition for the franchise. I do not see the same team as last season though, and I doubt a playoff appearance is in their future.

AFC West

• Chargers: One of the biggest surprises of the NFL is the San Diego Chargers. From a shaky Philip Rivers to a moderately annoyed LT (usually a good thing) they are in a state of dysfunction. Personally I questioned the Norv Turner hire from the beginning, and it is clear now that letting Marty go was a bad decision. With both Cam Cameron and Wade Philips gone, the Bolts could have used at least a little consistency with Schottenheimer at the helm. At this point it is hard to see them doing anything of significance, but few AFC teams have been impressive so they can still sneak into the playoffs if they get their acts together.
• Raiders: Culpepper is a man on a mission, but 70 odd yards is not going to do it every week. That is unless Justin Fargas is the next Barry Sanders (doubtful).
• Broncos: I was not a fan of the move to boy-man Cutler last season, and I still do not see him as the star QB he has been hailed. Playoffs? Extremely doubtful because…
• Chiefs: …I have the Chiefs winning the division. Larry is done with his holdout hangover, and Dwayne Bowe is emerging as a go to receiver. The offensive line and quarterback position are still questionable at best, but the defense is solid. Upside down, remember?

NFC North

• Vikings: Who is your quarterback? Thought so. The run defense is lights out, which is important because they lack any form of a secondary. The Vikes are on the rise though.
• Packers: What can I say that has not already been said? Brett Favre is a great quarterback. Surprise.
• Bears: 1-3? Grossman is bad. Griese is worse. Kyle Orton, your time has come (again).
• Lions: Kitnadamus had it right. The Lions very well might win ten games. Ten. The Lions. Believe me, I know what you are going through; my mind is having trouble dealing with it too. I have not seen the level of production I was expecting after Calvin Johnson’s ridiculous hype, but I suppose he needs time to get acclimated to the insanity of a Mike Martz offense.

NFC South

• Falcons: Just about as bad as they should be. My question is will Harrington keep Leftwich off the field for the season?
• Panthers: The Panthers are underachieving? No surprises here.
• Buccaneers: The success of the Bucs was not expected, but now they have the problem of Cadillac’s season-ending injury on Sunday. Time will tell if their running game will be enough to give Garcia opportunities to win.
• Saints: There is no doubt the Saints are the disappointment of the season. Whereas last year they were Superbowl contenders, they now struggle to even score more than ten points. One thing is for sure: they MUST win their next game (@ Carolina) to have any chance at salvaging the year.

NFC East

• Cowboys: Easily the best team in the NFC right now. The Cowboys are going straight to the NFC championship.
• Giants: Even with two wins I see this team as no better than a six win squad. That may have something to do with my personal bias against Eli Manning, but it does not matter. The Giants are not a good football team.
• Eagles: From a playoff run under Jeff Garcia to…the bottom of the division with McNabb. Donovan right now is the most overrated quarterback in the league. He blew up against Detroit and….well, that is the end of the list. Without Westbrook this team can’t score, plain and simple. Donovan should be personally massaging Westbrook abdomean back to health if wants a shot at a respectable season.
• Redskins: I for one was not expecting a strong start from Washington. Jason Campbell has been fairly solid under center, and a healthy Clinton Portis makes things that much easier for everyone. If not for the ‘Boys, the Skins could win the division.

NFC West

• Cardinals: They beat the Steelers. They had two Steeler coaches. Case closed in my opinion. Edge is running like he did in his Indy days, and they have two of the best receivers in the league. Unfortunately they still will not make the playoffs. As every ESPN analyst says, if you have two quarterbacks, you do not have one.
• 49ers: After a decent start, the 49ers are fading out already. Gore is a beast, and pre-injury Old Small Hands was not doing that bad. If Dilfer can carry them for a few weeks they could make a run late in the season.
• Seahawks: Pretenders. Alexander is still feeling the after-effects of the Madden curse, and this team is on a downward slope.
• Rams: These guys were preseason favorites for winning the NFC, but at this point I would be impressed if they could beat LSU. Losing Steve Jackson and Orlando Pace did not help, but even before that the whole was actually less than the sum of its parts. Still, it is the NFC. With a healthy and angry Jackson they could climb back into contention…maybe.

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There you have it. A few thoughts on every team in the league. Now it’s your turn. Let me know what you think I got wrong, or maybe even got right.