Film Review: Crank

Put on some music. Seriously, either open up your music program and play something, or turn on your iPod and start listening. Now, turn the volume up until your ears start bleeding and do back flips across the room while consuming a mixture of Pixie Stix and caffeine pills. Oh, and scream whenever possible. You have created a rudimentary version of the movie Crank.

Starring Jason Statham, star of the Transporter series, Crank is an adrenaline rush on steroids. Yes you read that right. I have never seen a movie so focused on nothing but excitement and insanity for its entire duration. The best word I could use to describe the film is psychotic. I could also use absurd, foolish, and completely out-of-line: all fit perfectly into Crank’s vision.

The story centers on a man (Statham) who is poisoned with a fatal drug, and the only way for him to prolong his life is to keep adrenaline flowing through his body. You can guess what the next ninety minutes contains. In fact, that is what the entire movie contains because somehow Crank never breaks pace. It is vapid, mindless action, but that was its aim from the start. If you are looking for entertainment of the most in-your-face variety, this is your movie, but beware, for that is all you are going to get.

I think Crank’s goal is achieved, and it was everything I expected it to be. It is ridiculously vulgar, packed with guns, and bursting at the seams with thrills. The ending gun sequence and ending in general were my favorite parts of the movie, and you know how much I love good endings.

8/10